On the Horn of a Dilemma – How Lawyers Can Help with Non-Lawyer Problems

Jared Stipelman

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Being an attorney means having the privilege to help other people realize their dreams. Usually this means drafting contracts, setting up businesses, and otherwise providing the structure for our clients to live their best business lives. Sometimes, however, it means something more unconventional, and it is here that we can provide the most value as attorneys.

I recently received a call from a client on the horn of a dilemma—her non-profit, which typically fosters dogs, had a rhinoceros with a 100 pound-per-day food ratio in need of rehoming, but no home for it. This might not seem like a problem for an attorney, but in fact this sort of situation—with time of the essence and no playbook to consult—where an attorney’s ability to remain organized and create solutions on the fly is most valuable.

Believe it or not, most animal shelters in developed areas have trouble accommodating a rhinoceros. My client had called various local shelters, but we were able to approach the problem differently. Leveraging certain mutual contacts, we were introduced to a prominent international charity that specializes in preserving endangered fauna. This charity was able to provide a wealth of information, including practical information like how to feed a two-ton pachyderm inexpensively and nutritiously with readily available ingredients. It also provided a wealth of experience, contacts, and even introductions to potential charities that might adopt a spare rhino.  After surprisingly tense negotiations—which we spearheaded so our non-profit client could focus on its central mission of caring for animals—we found a potential home for our rhinoceros.

Alas, the home, at least for starters, was temporary. This charity had limited space for a rhinoceros and was only willing to take on our rhinoceros on a test-basis at first. This necessitated a foster agreement, which looks a bit different for a rhinoceros than it does for a dog. We researched issues involving fostering megafauna, spotted a few potentially novel problems of our own, and drafted a foster agreement that protects the new-found foster parent, our client, and of course our rhinoceros. Fortunately, our rhino turned out to be a teddy bear, and has fit in well in its new home. I have had occasion to visit it, and I like to think it recognizes me.

I do not share this story in the off chance that our readers have a rhinoceros they are looking to unload. I share it as an object lesson in how our biggest value add as your attorneys is when you are confronted with the bizarre, the novel, and the complicated—we are counselors, not pen pushers. So, whether you have to rehome a rhino or need help realizing your business goals, you can trust the attorneys at Milgrom & Daskam to provide innovative solutions.

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